Crack open your potential.
Live your unlived life.
Have you ever felt like you could be more? Like life is unsatisfying and something's missing - something that would deliver you from the mundane and tolerable to the exhilarating & authentic?
Do you fear you are hopelessly on track to a life you don't want, but you'd rather be wildly off-path, roaming in the woods?
You're right to be worried. Something is amiss, and it's that most of us are living with a terminal disease called 'little ol me' syndrome. If we're not careful, we end up with jobs we hate, in relationships we don't deserve, tired, sick, restless, and dull while our creative potential sits on a shelf and collects dust.
This isn't just about taking up painting in your spare time, or going on dates with your partner to 'get the spark back' - It's about lighting the whole goddamn house on fire.
Once you're aware, you can't look away. The unlived life hangs heavy on those of us who know we are more than what we can embody right now. We often feel haunted by the ghost of our dream life that seems to follow us everywhere.
We feel this way because our untapped potential is literally our shadow - sitting dormant in our subconscious.
We often wonder: How did this happen? When did I "lose" it? For many, the answer is young adulthood. As the pressure to "succeed" grew, we felt more and more compelled to take the safe track and put our innate potential on the backburner. This is when 'little ol me' syndrome digs its talons in deep.
- I'm not one of the lucky ones who can have a career they don't hate.
- If it can't make me money, why pursue my interests & talents?
- There must be something wrong with me that I can't just be satisfied like everyone else.
We repeat these little lies to ourselves and our culture endorses it. Over time, the outer voices override the inner voice, and this is the only real mental illness that exists - everything else is just a symptom of the pain.
So if the beaten path requires the ultimate sacrifice (your self), what must you do?
Go off the
Of course, it's a feel-good idea for us rebellious types, but mere rebellion isn't enough. The process must be tailored to the blueprint that is your unique self - You must break the spell of inhibition.
With layers upon layers of conditioning that have taught us that it's not ok to trust any impulse coming from within, we often feel stuck - caught between our conditioning and our real desires, which often pull in opposite directions.
This is why we must embark on a process that won't be neat & clean, but confusing and intimidating at times. It goes something like this...
Discernment --> Dignity --> Destiny
Stage 1: Aborting the Default Life
Discernment is about getting honest. It's about having a sharp eye for what is and isn't true, what works and what doesn't. We start weeding out the bullshit. We see how societal conditioning has castrated the potential of the individual by asking it to radically conform and abandon the inner voice. We must die to the system (so as to come back and save it later on). Here, we work with trauma patterns, negative emotions, & limiting beliefs that are actively poisoning our internal world. This is what you may know as shadow work, and it is the first step to cracking open your potential. Once we master this, we move on to a deeper level of emotional mastery: radical acceptance.
Stage 2: Re-Committing to the Inner Life
Dignity is about regarding oneself as worthy of respect. We begin practicing this attitude toward all aspects of self - even the ones that seem problematic on the surface. Rather than living in the 'fix yourself' paradigm that assumes we are fundamentally broken, we learn how and why this is actually an illusion that holds no truth. The parts of ourselves we fear, suppress, or refuse to honor are the same parts that hold the potential. Goodbye self-help, hello enlightenment. Once we master this paradoxical honoring and acceptance of all that seems "wrong," it's open sesame. We are granted access to the next stage - the best one of all.
Stage 3: Living the Unlived Life
Destiny is about fulfilling your true potential - that which was always meant for you. Instead of living as a martyr, you find real satisfaction in your newly-designed life. You gain a deep sense that you are living life on purpose, by your own free will, without regrets or apologies. It's around this time that those who are loyal to the system stop criticizing you and start taking notes ;)
This is what it takes to bridge the gap between where you are & where you want to be.
Help that Actually Helps
If you're thinking, I don't even have the energy to make a sandwich let alone do all that, don't sweat it. That's where I come in.
Exist Better is designed to help you move through this transition in bite-sized pieces so that even if things are hard, they are manageable. Here you'll find various tools to help you engage in this work from every angle.
If you are enticed by depth psychology, subconscious work, and the idea of the golden shadow, you've found a home here. And if you are ready for deeper layers of self-liberation, welcome to the party.
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